Before You Choose Divorce, Consider Hypnotherapy.

Before discussing divorce with your spouse, consider hypnotherapy as an alternative to couples counseling.

Marriages experience rough patches, or two, or four while on their way to marital bliss. The key is to not give up at the first or second or fourth sign of trouble. There may be tension and arguments filing your home right now, but with patience and proper guidance, couples can rediscover the the love that lead you down the aisle on your wedding day.

marriage counseling

Hypnotherapy for marriage counseling helps in the following ways:

  1. It rebuilds confidence and trust. Your husband may have forgotten your 5th anniversary and he may have forgotten to pick up the milk on the way home and thus, in a state of anger, you emasculated him with harsh words. As a result, you’ve developed an inability to believe your spouse can be trusted with the simplest tasks and in return, your partner starts to develop animosity and stress every time he or she is asked to do something. If this confidence and trust isn’t restored, it will affect the way you view your spouses compatibility and capability in loving you and providing for you.
  2. It strengthens communication. They say communication is key. A marriage with open lines of communication will be a successful one. Couples need to be open to expressing the things that hurt, the things that make them happy and the things they value differently. Not discussing these things will keep individuals in a place of perpetual heartache, crippled by harboring their resentments and anger inside. Your spouse cannot be held accountable for the things you fail to address. Furthermore, are you really angry at your partner or at yourself? Is the frustration you’re projecting meant for you for not measuring up or feeling inadequate?
  3. It will help you rediscover the reason why you fell in love in the first place. Regardless of how you may feel about your husband or wife in this current moment, at one time you loved them with a blind eye. You loved them enough to overlook their flaws and fell in love with them for who you became when you were with them. Somewhere inside, that love still exists. Love is a verb; it is an action; it is a choice we make every morning. Hypnotherapy will help you exercise that choice with full confidence in good spirits.

counseling

The movie Stardust has this great line, “So, yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can also be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and, well, strangely easy to mistaken for loathing.” If you feel like your spouse has failed you, the loathing you’re experiencing may be disappointment. You may feel like they’re always falling short of loving you the way you expect to be loved. We have to realize that just because our needs are not being met the way we want them to be met, that does not mean that your partner is not trying his or her best. I’m here to help you discover what you want and to help you express the wants in positive ways to further strengthen your marriage.

BIG Q’s! Real answers.

Q: How many sessions does it take?

On average, every new client asks this question off the bat, wanting to know “how many sessions” it will take to fully treat them.

Here is my answer: it depends.

How badly do you want change? How much work are you willing to put in? What will you sacrifice to better yourself? How honest are you willing to be with me and with yourself? If you can see yourself becoming your personal best, then that’s what you will be. My goal is to help you unleash your true potential.

Q: Will I still be in control of what I think, say, and do?

The answer is: Yes!

I am not a magician. I cannot make you do what you do not want to do.

There will be no clucking like a chicken, sharing your credit card information, or robbing of banks. Yes, hypnosis puts you in a trance, but not the kind you’ve seen on television. Hypnosis helps you focus. While under hypnosis, you are totally aware of your surroundings and your thoughts. The information you share in an hypnotic trance is in relation to the topic we’re dealing with. We tend to be creatures who live from a place of self-preservation, and because of this, we approach the things that hurt us, scare us, or threaten us with caution and honesty. Hypnosis allows you to feel secure enough to unlock those places so healing can happen.

Q: How long will my progress last?

I am pleased to tell you that your progress will last a life time.

Again, all factors depend on your willingness to change. Should you choose to return to your habits, you will return. The affects of hypnosis are long term, but I do require that you see me for a follow up appointment once a year. This appointment is to ensure that you are on the right track. If you aren’t, your follow up appointment will be used to re-establish healthy exercises. But if you find yourself constantly meeting your goals, then your follow up session will be used to try new exercises, set new goals, and celebrate your new life and mind.

If you any questions you would like answered on the next “Big Q’s! Real answers” blog, please feel free to leave a comment or email me at errogluck@gmail.com.

Addicted to the Screen

Children and young teens stumble upon porn accidentally or through curiosity. Expastors.com states that by the time a child is 11 years old, they would have already been exposed to porn. Some children are embarrassed by what they see and never venture beyond that moment, creating a type of trauma, while others are intrigued by the sexual acts displayed before them and begin to explore the very animated, fantastical, and unrealistic world of pornography.Addiction

For individuals who watch porn, the characters and their actions are enticing but what children and adults don’t understand about pornography is that it’s not real. The milkman, pizza delivery guy, and the naughty maid aren’t real people. These characters are just that, characters. They don’t require courting, games of twenty-one questions, or dates; but in the real world, knowing intimate details about your spouses life is sexier than the skimpiest lingerie.

Porn AddictionThis is a chart taken from Reddit: link here.

Whether indulging for hours or for minutes, a long-standing relationship with pornography begins to desensitize the viewer. What starts as an occupation of your free time spans into engulfing other important hours of your life. Basic guy and girl porn no longer meets the individuals need for thrilling pleasure. Wanting raunchier and more explicit images sends porn addicts digging through dirtier and dirtier pornos until they’re able to once again get off. This is because, like any other addiction, the addicted individual needs to  increase their intake in order to continually satiate. By nature, addicts are always looking for a greater high. 

The addiction is not in that the individual watches porn, but that they can’t go without it. Askmen.com states that, “Porn addiction functions like other addictions, in that people seek out porn (like they would drugs) because they have developed a psychological craving, not because of enjoyment.” Their need to increase the vulgarity is supported by the amount of time spent watching, researching, and imitating porn. As a result, there are addicts who have an inability to connect with tangible people. Their hopes, preferences, and desires are entangled in the distorted ideals created by the porn industry.

Humans were designed for connection. Anything that causes you to live with a hunger that forces you into isolation, is something you need to give up. I want to help you regain control of your life again. Being weaned off of pornography won’t be easy, but it is necessary. We will establish healthy alternatives that are productive and reality based.   Reinforcing these healthy alternatives will give you the control to make better choices when temptation arises. Coaching will assist you in how to deal with moments of weakness, transitioning, and life post addiction.

Jealousy, An All Consuming Fire.

People welcome jealousy into their lives, without intending to. They see something they really want and envy that which isn’t theirs. They acknowledge their want of it and, in positive instances, convert it into self-motivation.

tumblr_nqbkpunYAi1u7jt09o1_r1_1280On the other side of the spectrum, some see something they want and experience resentment because it isn’t theirs. Their jealousy never forms into self-motivation. In fact, it becomes an all consuming fire. Their negative thoughts grow fixated on the things they don’t have, magnifying it to something incontrollable and bigger than themselves.

This is so dangerous. It affects relationships, careers, emotional and mental health, and it can really cripple your life.

Jealousy develops when we start comparing ourselves to others. I always tell my clients that we are all on our own journey. We meet people, we invest, we make some U-turns but ultimately, no one else is living the life we individually get in this lifetime. You have to get to a place where separating fact from fantasy is possible, where set goals are met, and where jealousy propels you to be proactive. As I life coach, I am continually engaging in hearing your life story. We all are so special in our own way.

 

Hap·py /ˈhapē/ Adjective 1. 
Feeling Or Showing Pleasure Or Contentment.

Unhappy people are easy to recognize. They share a common lack of identity, path, and/or aspirations. I’m not talking about “the late bloomer”. We all have that neighbor with a 26-year-old son who’s been trying to “find” himself since graduating college.

Unhappy people are unhappy because they aren’t trying to find themselves. They actually believe it when their mammal brains, the brain we’re born with, tell them that they are meant and designed for unhappiness.

imagesSome people are unhappy because of a bio-chemical imbalance. Somewhere down the line, they’ve compromised themselves, or they’ve entered a structure (relationship, contractual agreement, or professional position) that has forced them to live a life that’s contrary to their inner self. These people could potentially suffer from mild, chronic, or acute unhappiness. Chronic unhappiness potentially directs its host to a life of avoidance by means of addiction while acute unhappiness forces its host into a world of depression.

But, unhappiness is not hopelessness.

Action must be taken to help pinpoint the root of unhappiness in your life. Figuring it out is half the battle. Could it be that you’re still holding on to a past hurt? Failing at the life plan someone else has made for you? or listening to the negativity of your mammal brain? Believing that you can move from where you are to where you want to be is vital. With my help, I can help identify what’s preventing you from moving forward in your rich and meaningful life.

Experience–dependent neuroplasticity, the part of our brain that learns from our experiences, forms our personality when in the beta and gamma state. This means we can also reorganize, and, as a result, change our personalities. So long as what’s being changed is philosophically and truly embraced an entire person can be turned around. The goal is not to get you to be someone else, but to get you to your very unique self.