Jealousy, An All Consuming Fire.

People welcome jealousy into their lives, without intending to. They see something they really want and envy that which isn’t theirs. They acknowledge their want of it and, in positive instances, convert it into self-motivation.

tumblr_nqbkpunYAi1u7jt09o1_r1_1280On the other side of the spectrum, some see something they want and experience resentment because it isn’t theirs. Their jealousy never forms into self-motivation. In fact, it becomes an all consuming fire. Their negative thoughts grow fixated on the things they don’t have, magnifying it to something incontrollable and bigger than themselves.

This is so dangerous. It affects relationships, careers, emotional and mental health, and it can really cripple your life.

Jealousy develops when we start comparing ourselves to others. I always tell my clients that we are all on our own journey. We meet people, we invest, we make some U-turns but ultimately, no one else is living the life we individually get in this lifetime. You have to get to a place where separating fact from fantasy is possible, where set goals are met, and where jealousy propels you to be proactive. As I life coach, I am continually engaging in hearing your life story. We all are so special in our own way.

 

Hap·py /ˈhapē/ Adjective 1. 
Feeling Or Showing Pleasure Or Contentment.

Unhappy people are easy to recognize. They share a common lack of identity, path, and/or aspirations. I’m not talking about “the late bloomer”. We all have that neighbor with a 26-year-old son who’s been trying to “find” himself since graduating college.

Unhappy people are unhappy because they aren’t trying to find themselves. They actually believe it when their mammal brains, the brain we’re born with, tell them that they are meant and designed for unhappiness.

imagesSome people are unhappy because of a bio-chemical imbalance. Somewhere down the line, they’ve compromised themselves, or they’ve entered a structure (relationship, contractual agreement, or professional position) that has forced them to live a life that’s contrary to their inner self. These people could potentially suffer from mild, chronic, or acute unhappiness. Chronic unhappiness potentially directs its host to a life of avoidance by means of addiction while acute unhappiness forces its host into a world of depression.

But, unhappiness is not hopelessness.

Action must be taken to help pinpoint the root of unhappiness in your life. Figuring it out is half the battle. Could it be that you’re still holding on to a past hurt? Failing at the life plan someone else has made for you? or listening to the negativity of your mammal brain? Believing that you can move from where you are to where you want to be is vital. With my help, I can help identify what’s preventing you from moving forward in your rich and meaningful life.

Experience–dependent neuroplasticity, the part of our brain that learns from our experiences, forms our personality when in the beta and gamma state. This means we can also reorganize, and, as a result, change our personalities. So long as what’s being changed is philosophically and truly embraced an entire person can be turned around. The goal is not to get you to be someone else, but to get you to your very unique self.

Self-Medication Turned Self-Mutalation.

Addiction isn’t a pretty word. It’s, unfortunately, so often visually associated with junkies and emotionally tied to rebellion. Compassion is a helping hand never fully extended because, let’s be honest, assumptions keep us hesitant to fully committing ourselves to helping those who can’t help themselves.

In early years of development, our frontal lobes aren’t fully formed. This means all we know is adopted from the environment surrounding us. If those who influence us have unhealthy ways of coping, we might also. tumblr_static_filename_640_v2Addiction, contrary to what is thought, can be a learnt behavior. In a family where words are kept behind glasses of Bourbon, there’s a chance drinking could occupy the space reserved for conversation. Drugs are used for coping with the stress of family, work, identity, and everyday life. Addictions are a physical manifestation of an inner mewing. For many addicts, the use of drugs was a form of self-medication, but mutated into self-mutilation.

Some addictions aren’t even drug based. There can be addictions to sex, love, compulsions, and gossip. Imagine the inability to keep a secret. Addictions are more psychologically than neurologically rooted. Meaning they’re more mind than brain based. Compulsions are usually neurological. I have had tremendous success integrating Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy through neuroplasticity, but it’s important to identify the underlining irritations. So many problems can be solved and resolved with hypnosis.

Have You Lost The REAL You?

Society has always had the ability to set trends, but when did we allow someone else’s preference to become our standard?

blog 2We forget that trends and fads are not static; they are in a mystifying, ever changing waltz. This dance is choreographed by lionized opinions from people we may never meet. Fads and trends tell us what to eat, who to date, what to wear, and what is and is not socially acceptable, for the moment. There’s no way to truly “be yourself” if the self you are molding is constantly shaped by the opinions and decisions of others. The problem with living someone else’s version of you is that we are not one size fits all personalities. What works for one person, might not work for another. We set ourselves up for a miserable life when we try to tailor, or hem, who we are so people will like us, society will be pleased with us, the church won’t judge us, and our friends will accept us.

Who are you really?

In my 38 years of life coaching I have seen many fall prey to unattainable ideals. Somewhere I read that it’s impossible to serve two masters because you’ll end up loving one, and hating the other. Who are you loving? Who do you hate when you feel outcasted? If we don’t understand that we are naturally designed to be different, the person we’ll end up hating is the one in the mirror. I want to help refine the authentic you. I want to help people like the parts of themselves that society tells them to hide. I also want to help change what can be fixed, like our attitudes, perception, and habits. There are too many people shaving down the best parts of them to fit a mold that simply does not exist. The standard you choose to live is the one that matters.

With willingness to let go and my careful life coaching, it is very possible to discover the real you.

Clinical Hypnosis for Drug Addiction

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Whether you’re afraid of judgment, are avoiding pain or anger, or are lost in self-exploration that’s grown a little too “trippy,” drug-abuse is self-abuse.  Hard to believe, but despite all the information out there reminding everyone to “just say no,” the abuse rate of both prescription and non-prescription drugs isn’t decreasing. The reasons are often related to intensely personal difficulties that can only be dealt with through private, in-depth, one-on-one counseling.

In the 40 years I have been practicing hypnosis in NYC, I have been more effective than conventional rehabilitative facilities in curing addictions to heroin, cocaine, cigarettes, alcohol, and marijuana. Treatment is not what most people expect! There are no swirling discs involved, or any attempts to get you “very sleepy.” Drug-free and non-addictive, Clinical Hypnosis is rooted in rational cognitive behavioral therapy and in the concept of neuroplasticity, conducted through the art of executive life-coaching.

On average, therapy for drug addiction should take at least 3-5 sessions. The duration depends on how severe the addiction is, along with how intent you are in recovering. Unlike other programs, your individual experiences and patterns of character are taken into utmost account. If the motivation to “get clean” is as difficult as recovery itself, then that’s where you and I will have to start (I am willing to work in conjunction with a physician, if necessary). Regardless of where you are in recovery, that you want to come out for good is good enough to act on your interest in what hypnosis can do for you. Give me a call at (212) 599-3195 to set an appointment.