Have You Lost The REAL You?

Posted on July 15, 2015 by Dr. Errol Gluck

Society has always had the ability to set trends, but when did we allow someone else’s preference to become our standard?

blog 2 We forget that trends and fads are not static; they are in a mystifying, ever changing waltz. This dance is choreographed by lionized opinions from people we may never meet. Fads and trends tell us what to eat, who to date, what to wear, and what is and is not socially acceptable, for the moment. There’s no way to truly “be yourself” if the self you are molding is constantly shaped by the opinions and decisions of others. The problem with living someone else’s version of you is that we are not one size fits all personalities. What works for one person, might not work for another. We set ourselves up for a miserable life when we try to tailor, or hem, who we are so people will like us, society will be pleased with us, the church won’t judge us, and our friends will accept us.

Who are you really?

In my 38 years of life coaching I have seen many fall prey to unattainable ideals. Somewhere I read that it’s impossible to serve two masters because you’ll end up loving one, and hating the other. Who are you loving? Who do you hate when you feel outcasted? If we don’t understand that we are naturally designed to be different, the person we’ll end up hating is the one in the mirror. I want to help refine the authentic you. I want to help people like the parts of themselves that society tells them to hide. I also want to help change what can be fixed, like our attitudes, perception, and habits. There are too many people shaving down the best parts of them to fit a mold that simply does not exist. The standard you choose to live is the one that matters.

With willingness to let go and my careful life coaching, it is very possible to discover the real you.

Does Your Direction Need Redirecting?

Posted on July 8, 2015 by Dr. Errol Gluck

I recently had a conversation with a friend who voiced his opinion on women in the work place. He believed that women working a 9 to 5 was the down fall of today’s family. Listening to this philosophy major generalize the entire female gender intrigued me because I have so many successful business women with successful family’s as clients. I needed to know where he was he drawing his conclusions from. He believed all women who worked a full time job jeopardized the integrity of her family, they risked building bonds with other men, they relinquished ever fully knowing their children, and when they had, because they would, an affair, it would be a violent domino effect demolishing their family. This, he said, causes a kind of generational curse where anger, adultery, and lust is embedded in ones genealogy. Casually, he discussed how offensive it was for a woman to be the head of the house. According to him, a woman’s place is behind a man, not at the side of him. I explained that phrases like, “be a man,” or “act like a woman,” were relative.

Sexist Nevertheless, we decide what these words mean to us, and how we will apply them in our lives. My good friend, needing to complete his thought, used his relationship with his mother to prove reversing gender roles was a crime. He had, and unfortunately still has, a calloused association with his mother. Like many clients I see, he projects the bitterness he has towards his mother on all women. It does not help that he is besieged by men who share the same ideals, allowing a plethora of harmful emotions to fester. This is a new kind of domino effect. Each emotion pushes against him like eager hands ready to destroy. His turmoil goes unseen because of pride, anger, or fear; and the help he desperately needs goes unreceived.

I have seen this projection many times in friends, clients, and strangers. But, I understand his firm stance. He unknowingly only thinks with the limbic part of his brain. This is the part of our brain where emotions and motives are stored. Pulling from this pool alone allows him to empathize, but not reason. He’s not using his frontal lobe; the part of our brain that rationalizes. Living in a a place of emotion alone can be dangerous. We need to have the ability to assess what is reality and whether or not our personal feelings are distorting that truth. Hypnosis is a great way to discover why we feel what we feel.

The Starving Brain

Posted on June 30, 2015 by Dr. Errol Gluck

When I think of the 4th of July weekend coming up, I think of hotdogs, burgers, grills, the sun out, frozen fruit drinks and most importantly, some very needed family time.

Needless to say, I know there are people out there that fear this time of year and many other holidays like this centered around family gatherings and food (Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Birthdays, and the like). They fear the idea of having to eat in front of family and friends. There are people tormented by the thought of having to force themselves to eat to appear healthy and normal on the outside. 1275fcd73d195d39f36b7135c52f5371

The truth is, anorexia is hardly ever about weight. It doesn’t matter if you’re 80 pounds or 180 pounds, an anorexic will still feel that they are never at their perfect weight. Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and other related eating disorders are a form of addiction, very similar in root to gambling, alcoholism, drugs, smoking, sex, etc. – it is centered around attaining the ‘high’ that makes you feel good/relieved.

Young girls and boys on the onset of anorexia and bulimia purge because of how amazing it makes them feel afterwards. Fast forward a few years, it turns into a habit, an addiction no longer controllable. The troubling truth about habit is its stronghold over our lives. It’s great that some of us have great habits, like waking up early in the morning and sticking to our awesome workout regimes but there are a lot of us who fight head on with daily negative habits. Sometimes we turn to our addictions to distract us from the real issue we are dealing with on the inside.

Anorexia, like all other addictions, takes your good qualities and uses them against yourself in destructive ways. It will take your amazing persistence and push you to continue to purge and starve. It will take your strong determination and use it to push to to achieve visible ribcages. It will take your unique creativity and use it to create stories to hide the real reason as to why you are “not hungry”. It will take your hardworking, disciplined mindset and use it to fight for the wrong things.

I want to emphasize the power of our brains and what we can do change the way we think. Hypnosis can help you center your thoughts on what is truly important and meaningful in life. You have to realize that your body, your organs, and your actions/habits are all controlled by your brain. Your heart cannot beat and pump blood without the command of the brain. Likewise, your thoughts don’t end up where they do without the command of the brain. Come see me. And I don’t say this lightly. I know how real the fear is for those that battle with this every day, through every meal.

I want to wish everyone a Happy 4th of July!!

The Difference Between Seeing Me for Mediation vs. Seeing a Lawyer

Posted on January 17, 2013 by Dr. Errol Gluck

married couple in need of mediation Let me first start by saying I’m not anti-lawyer. I have a phenomenal lawyer who I’ve referred to dozens of clients over the years. So, when I talk about the benefits of seeing me for conflict mediation as opposed to a lawyer, it is not to denigrate the legal route in general. Lawyers are necessary, and, like any industry, you need to find the right one to go forward.

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Divorce or Reconciliation? A Mediator’s Opinion on Saving Your Marriage

Posted on December 7, 2012 by Dr. Errol Gluck

married couple in need of mediation A lot of married people who come to me for couple’s therapy are in a very ambiguous position: they are undecided as to whether they should try to fight for the marriage or if it would be more wise to divorce and start to improve their lives separately.

I have no bias towards one solution over the other. You can notice a mediator has a slight tinge of a bias toward maintaining marriage even if the two people in front of them are quite content on separating. As a mediator, I have no bias towards the sanctity of marriage or the adventure of a post-divorce life.

But let’s go back for a second. Notice what I just said. A lot of couples are undecided if they should try to fight for the relationship or not. What does that mean? It means that a lot of people come to me knowing a lot more about what they’re capable of accomplishing than they think.

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