Feelings Are Not Facts

Happy New Year’s to all. I want to talk a bit about the difference between facts and feelings. In order to do that, there is another duality I need to mention first, and that is the brain/mind split. For years, modern science has defined the brain and mind as, more or less, a singular entity. Recently, however, evidence suggests that the brain and mind are two distinct things. What’s more, they affect each other in deeply profound ways. Of course, we hypnotists knew that all along!

Basically, the mind distinguishes people from one another—it is the person’s abstract fingerprint, their soul DNA—and the brain operates all bodily function. The brain deals with facts, and the mind deals with feelings (of course, this is an oversimplification, but it serves the main point). The brain is evolutionary; the mind, innate. Most of the worries, anxieties, panic attacks, and bouts of depression are feeling-based. Your worry is not a fact. Your inhibitions are not true, like your age and weight are true. This is an important distinction to make.

The power of facts, and your choice of them, can greatly enhance your ability to make yourself feel better. Use what is hurting you to your advantage. If a fact seems like it is against you, play its game and use another fact to give you the wherewithal to maintain a position of gratitude and create something you’re proud of. And, hey, look what happened: your mind is feeling better. Funny how that works. The reason we admire people who face adversity with compassion and joy is because they look at facts in a much different way. What many deem the power of positive thinking is actually a skillful interplay between the brain and mind, facts and feelings.

I look forward to forging new paths with you in 2012. Till next week.

Thinking as a Skill

Thinking is such an abstract thing. Because of its mysterious background, it’s hard to imagine thinking as a perfectible skill, and easier to just think of it as some graceful force that lands on certain ideas and feelings almost by accident. What if I told you that thinking needs just as much upkeep as a broken rib, or a leaky faucet? What if I told you it wasn’t just some ethereal wind blown into one ear and out the other, but a very malleable part of you that isn’t essential, but created? It’s hard to believe that we are defined by our decisions because that means we’re responsible for, well, everything. But we are. The good thing is that the more responsible we are for our life, the greater the feeling of reward, and the more feeling of reward we have, then, you
guessed it, the more happiness and health.

If you are under the impression that thinking can’t be manipulated, just think about how we manipulate our thoughts when we are faced with adversity. In the same way we clench our fists and punch things when we get frustrated, we mentally abuse ourselves by digging our thoughts into the ground. We choke our mental faculty of any positive form of thinking. Your mind becomes a warzone, your relationships sour, your work-life suffers—all because you haven’t made other decisions on what to think. It’s that simple.

Yet, it’s not easy. That’s why a life coach is often necessary to give you a bird’s-eye view of your life, an outsider’s perspective. Often, people come to see me, and they don’t even know of the negative thoughts they’ve been thinking! They are so accustomed to dwelling on the feeling that those negative thoughts produce, that they disregard or forget the precipitating thought. After all, “I feel so sad” is a lot easier to communicate to yourself and others than “I’m sad because I can’t stop thinking about the way my sister’s husband keeps treating her and my mother’s response to the whole thing. “ What I do is get rid of the debris, and reprogram the mind. That’s what hypnosis is. That’s what life-coaching is.

I also want to take this time to personally wish everyone a very warm and prosperous holiday season. Eat well, be merry, and make lots of memories. I’ll see you in 2012!

You Are; Therefore You Are

A lot of people are hazy as to what exactly it is I do. I can explain Medical Hypnosis, I can explain Rational Cognitive Therapy, I can explain Life Coaching, but I want to explain to you the central tenet of my practice: self-discovery. It is my firm belief that everyone is guided by a personal philosophy — always under construction, of course — but strong and stable nevertheless. Some have a libertarian mindset about the world, some a communal one, some see meaning in chaos, others, chaos in meaning, some see the sad things in the world, the funny things, the weird things, etc. What is your philosophy? Through what lens are you interpreting this world, your relationships, and yourself?

When my patients come to me, I not only uncover their own credo, but see what it is that is preventing it from flourishing. I never make judgments about the belief — it is yours, and that is its only needed justification — but I do help you shed those blocks that continue to hinder it. A lot of times when our voice isn’t in harmony with the chorus around us, we abuse ourselves or others. Some choke their personal philosophy with anxiety or depression, some cloud it with alcohol, drugs and binge eating… there are many ways we compensate for the insecurity, fears, and rejections of our own belief smacked against the context we find ourselves in.

By no means is this a cerebral process; I know the word “philosophy” sounds academic. But our values are predicated on our hearts, our experiences, our childhoods, our loves, and our passions — this is what we use for your positive change. Forget Locke for a second; what’s locking your potential?