Being Thankful When Life Hurts

enhanced-8150-1447434561-1Life is tough. Add forced holiday cheer and all of life’s complexities suddenly multiply. How can we be thankful when we’re hurting? Here’s some advice.

First, true happiness is the reflection of a mind thinking outside of the box. People who condition their mind to accept their failures and achievements as personal experiences and growth opportunities are happier than those who compare themselves to others. Don’t spend this holiday season trying to measure up.

Second, do more giving than receiving. Somewhere there’s a mother or father who will have to cancel their holiday plans to keep dinner on the table. If you volunteer or donate to a cause, you’ll do just as much good for yourself as for the people you’re helping. Not only will their spirits will be uplifted, but so will yours! Giving has been proven to affect the giver just as much as the receiver.

And finally, do something special with people who really love you. Without a doubt there are tensions between family members but the holidays stand as a reminder that we should  put our differences aside and come together to simply share a warm meal and quality time together. Missing out on this will not be a loss of a family dinner but rather a loss of an opportunity you will never get back. There should be celebrations for overcoming, advancing, and surviving another year.

I want to personally wish each and every one of my clients and my readers a very warm and happy Thanksgiving!

Losing A Loved One.

Death is such an inevitable part a life. We shouldn’t be shocked when it comes for us,  yet we are. The unfortunate truth is, everyone will one day lose someone, or something they love. Coping with the loss of a loved one isn’t easy, but it is necessary.

Unknown-1

Not everyone will take solace in knowing that their loved one is finally out of pain or that they are no longer emotionally suffering. But some will. Those who do will still grieve and mourn the deceased, but they will also be comforted by what they believe comes after death. There is resilience in having a system of faith.

No matter your belief, grief is a common season that people deal with. As mentioned in the last blog post, there is no right or wrong way to mourn. You might experience denial, anger, confusion, sadness, and a lack of enthusiasm. That’s okay. Given the nature of the vital role your loved one played in your life, their passing will greatly effect you. Give yourself time to get re-adjusted to your life.

Feeling like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster is completely normal. One day you might feel okay and the next day you’ll be devastated all over again. This will fade over time. If it doesn’t, you might be suffering from complicated grief.

Mayoclinic.org defines complicated grief as such: For some people, feelings of loss are debilitating and don’t improve even after time passes. This is known as complicated grief, sometimes called persistent complex bereavement disorder. In complicated grief, painful emotions are so long lasting and severe that you have trouble accepting the loss and resuming your own life.

For a list of symptoms, click here.

If you believe you are suffering from complicated grief or you’re just having a hard time dealing with your loss, speaking with a life coach can be just what you need. Together we will sort through your emotions, redirect your thinking, and get your life back on track. You will never really get over losing someone you love, but with help, you can address your loss from a healthy perspective.

 

Dealing With Death.

People surviving the death of a loved one should know: there is no order to which the stages of grief passes. Mourning is different for each person. The time you spend mourning is based on your relationship to the person you lost. If you had a wonderful relationship and interacted with your loved one until their passing, there is grief and loss, but there is no guilt. You will wish to have said and done more, but these feelings are quite common.images

For some, there will be mixed feelings about a persons passing. Maybe the person who passed was unkind or abusive and because of this, you harbor animosity towards his or her passing. Does death absolve the you?

Most people would say, “yes!”
I say, let’s be honest.

If you’re hurt because you never got an apology you knowingly deserved, acknowledge that pain. If you feel relief that your abuse is over but guilty for being at peace, acknowledge these feelings too! Keep in mind, the choice to remain angry becomes an internal cancer. You will end up a victim of your own doing if you allow anger to ferment for too long. Anger is not and will never be nullified by death. If the persons passing seems like the perfect time to let go, then do it! But do it for the emotional benefit of yourself because death holds no special atonement for a persons wickedness.

UnknownIf hatred is prolonging your grief and not allowing you to move on, please come see me. Bad mouthing the dead and internalizing such anger will not bring closure to your emotional wounds. It will not help you sleep at night. It might provide a moments worth of relief, but that will pass and guilt will come again. Hypnotherapy can help you let go. You can begin to assess your abusers actions and make a logical decision to no longer be controlled by them, even after they’ve passed.

 

BIG Q’s! Real answers.

Q: How many sessions does it take?

On average, every new client asks this question off the bat, wanting to know “how many sessions” it will take to fully treat them.

Here is my answer: it depends.

How badly do you want change? How much work are you willing to put in? What will you sacrifice to better yourself? How honest are you willing to be with me and with yourself? If you can see yourself becoming your personal best, then that’s what you will be. My goal is to help you unleash your true potential.

Q: Will I still be in control of what I think, say, and do?

The answer is: Yes!

I am not a magician. I cannot make you do what you do not want to do.

There will be no clucking like a chicken, sharing your credit card information, or robbing of banks. Yes, hypnosis puts you in a trance, but not the kind you’ve seen on television. Hypnosis helps you focus. While under hypnosis, you are totally aware of your surroundings and your thoughts. The information you share in an hypnotic trance is in relation to the topic we’re dealing with. We tend to be creatures who live from a place of self-preservation, and because of this, we approach the things that hurt us, scare us, or threaten us with caution and honesty. Hypnosis allows you to feel secure enough to unlock those places so healing can happen.

Q: How long will my progress last?

I am pleased to tell you that your progress will last a life time.

Again, all factors depend on your willingness to change. Should you choose to return to your habits, you will return. The affects of hypnosis are long term, but I do require that you see me for a follow up appointment once a year. This appointment is to ensure that you are on the right track. If you aren’t, your follow up appointment will be used to re-establish healthy exercises. But if you find yourself constantly meeting your goals, then your follow up session will be used to try new exercises, set new goals, and celebrate your new life and mind.

If you any questions you would like answered on the next “Big Q’s! Real answers” blog, please feel free to leave a comment or email me at errogluck@gmail.com.

Post Pregnancy Depression

People see children as gifts. They believe that children teach parents to be selfless, compassionate, and above all, patient. There are mothers and fathers who say seeing their baby for the first time transforms their life. As beautiful as it is to create a life and addition to the family, the American Psychology Association states that “1 in [every] 7 women in the Untied States will suffer from a mood disorder known as Postpartum Depression (PPD).”

Post pregnancy depression, or PPD, is a type of depression brought on by childbirth. Unlike the “baby blues” which lasts only a few weeks and causes a mother to feel, as apa.com puts it, “stressed, sad, anxious, lonely, tired or weepy,” PPD can last several months, and can cause a mother to feel hopeless, disinterested in her child, and in severe cases, make her want to kill her baby or herself. PPD can, and does, affect women of every race and social class, and is not partial to unwed mothers.

tumblr_np6xr9JFai1ryi6tho2_1280

For a list of common PPD symptoms click here.

Many cases of PPD goes untreated because its symptoms vary from woman to woman. It can look like depression to one individual, anxiety in another, and compulsion in someone else. Notwithstanding, PPD is often overlooked because of shame. Women are constantly told how amazing it is to have a child, and it is!, but that isn’t the case for every mother. NPR’s Know The Signs: For Some, Post-Pregnancy Is Anything But Magicalfollows Paige’s emotional and mental decline after the birth of her son. Of her darkest day, Paige says,

And I looked at the bus and I had this impulse out of nowhere to throw myself and Max in front of the bus and just end it. … As the bus passed, I remember looking at my reflection in the windows of the bus and the faces looking back at me, but seeing my face, and being like, ‘Who is that person?’ … I had to do something to save myself and to save my son.

Paige got the help she needed to live a full life not only as a mother but as an individual. Her experience is a devastating one, but her story should comfort you if you’re suffering from PPD. Paige survived her PPD and so can you.

If you find yourself suffering from PPD symptoms, it’s imperative that you seek help. Hypnotherapy has a successful track record for easing the minds of mothers caught in a mental and physical battle with their PPD. Hypnosis can teach you to focus on what is real. It will also help you to get back to, or establish, a better peace of mind. From that new way of thinking you can approach your life and relationship with your child from a healthy mind.

Unknown