Losing A Loved One.

Death is such an inevitable part a life. We shouldn’t be shocked when it comes for us,  yet we are. The unfortunate truth is, everyone will one day lose someone, or something they love. Coping with the loss of a loved one isn’t easy, but it is necessary.


Not everyone will take solace in knowing that their loved one is finally out of pain or that they are no longer emotionally suffering. But some will. Those who do will still grieve and mourn the deceased, but they will also be comforted by what they believe comes after death. There is resilience in having a system of faith.

No matter your belief, grief is a common season that people deal with. As mentioned in the last blog post, there is no right or wrong way to mourn. You might experience denial, anger, confusion, sadness, and a lack of enthusiasm. That’s okay. Given the nature of the vital role your loved one played in your life, their passing will greatly effect you. Give yourself time to get re-adjusted to your life.

Feeling like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster is completely normal. One day you might feel okay and the next day you’ll be devastated all over again. This will fade over time. If it doesn’t, you might be suffering from complicated grief.

Mayoclinic.org defines complicated grief as such: For some people, feelings of loss are debilitating and don’t improve even after time passes. This is known as complicated grief, sometimes called persistent complex bereavement disorder. In complicated grief, painful emotions are so long lasting and severe that you have trouble accepting the loss and resuming your own life.

For a list of symptoms, click here.

If you believe you are suffering from complicated grief or you’re just having a hard time dealing with your loss, speaking with a life coach can be just what you need. Together we will sort through your emotions, redirect your thinking, and get your life back on track. You will never really get over losing someone you love, but with help, you can address your loss from a healthy perspective.


Dealing With Death.

People surviving the death of a loved one should know: there is no order to which the stages of grief passes. Mourning is different for each person. The time you spend mourning is based on your relationship to the person you lost. If you had a wonderful relationship and interacted with your loved one until their passing, there is grief and loss, but there is no guilt. You will wish to have said and done more, but these feelings are quite common.images

For some, there will be mixed feelings about a persons passing. Maybe the person who passed was unkind or abusive and because of this, you harbor animosity towards his or her passing. Does death absolve the you?

Most people would say, “yes!”
I say, let’s be honest.

If you’re hurt because you never got an apology you knowingly deserved, acknowledge that pain. If you feel relief that your abuse is over but guilty for being at peace, acknowledge these feelings too! Keep in mind, the choice to remain angry becomes an internal cancer. You will end up a victim of your own doing if you allow anger to ferment for too long. Anger is not and will never be nullified by death. If the persons passing seems like the perfect time to let go, then do it! But do it for the emotional benefit of yourself because death holds no special atonement for a persons wickedness.

UnknownIf hatred is prolonging your grief and not allowing you to move on, please come see me. Bad mouthing the dead and internalizing such anger will not bring closure to your emotional wounds. It will not help you sleep at night. It might provide a moments worth of relief, but that will pass and guilt will come again. Hypnotherapy can help you let go. You can begin to assess your abusers actions and make a logical decision to no longer be controlled by them, even after they’ve passed.


Hap·py /ˈhapē/ Adjective 1. 
Feeling Or Showing Pleasure Or Contentment.

Unhappy people are easy to recognize. They share a common lack of identity, path, and/or aspirations. I’m not talking about “the late bloomer”. We all have that neighbor with a 26-year-old son who’s been trying to “find” himself since graduating college.

Unhappy people are unhappy because they aren’t trying to find themselves. They actually believe it when their mammal brains, the brain we’re born with, tell them that they are meant and designed for unhappiness.

imagesSome people are unhappy because of a bio-chemical imbalance. Somewhere down the line, they’ve compromised themselves, or they’ve entered a structure (relationship, contractual agreement, or professional position) that has forced them to live a life that’s contrary to their inner self. These people could potentially suffer from mild, chronic, or acute unhappiness. Chronic unhappiness potentially directs its host to a life of avoidance by means of addiction while acute unhappiness forces its host into a world of depression.

But, unhappiness is not hopelessness.

Action must be taken to help pinpoint the root of unhappiness in your life. Figuring it out is half the battle. Could it be that you’re still holding on to a past hurt? Failing at the life plan someone else has made for you? or listening to the negativity of your mammal brain? Believing that you can move from where you are to where you want to be is vital. With my help, I can help identify what’s preventing you from moving forward in your rich and meaningful life.

Experience–dependent neuroplasticity, the part of our brain that learns from our experiences, forms our personality when in the beta and gamma state. This means we can also reorganize, and, as a result, change our personalities. So long as what’s being changed is philosophically and truly embraced an entire person can be turned around. The goal is not to get you to be someone else, but to get you to your very unique self.

Self-Medication Turned Self-Mutalation.

Addiction isn’t a pretty word. It’s, unfortunately, so often visually associated with junkies and emotionally tied to rebellion. Compassion is a helping hand never fully extended because, let’s be honest, assumptions keep us hesitant to fully committing ourselves to helping those who can’t help themselves.

In early years of development, our frontal lobes aren’t fully formed. This means all we know is adopted from the environment surrounding us. If those who influence us have unhealthy ways of coping, we might also. tumblr_static_filename_640_v2Addiction, contrary to what is thought, can be a learnt behavior. In a family where words are kept behind glasses of Bourbon, there’s a chance drinking could occupy the space reserved for conversation. Drugs are used for coping with the stress of family, work, identity, and everyday life. Addictions are a physical manifestation of an inner mewing. For many addicts, the use of drugs was a form of self-medication, but mutated into self-mutilation.

Some addictions aren’t even drug based. There can be addictions to sex, love, compulsions, and gossip. Imagine the inability to keep a secret. Addictions are more psychologically than neurologically rooted. Meaning they’re more mind than brain based. Compulsions are usually neurological. I have had tremendous success integrating Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy through neuroplasticity, but it’s important to identify the underlining irritations. So many problems can be solved and resolved with hypnosis.

Cure Depression Through Clinical Hypnosis

Hypnosis and curing depressionA combination of Clinical Hypnosis and Life Coaching not only cures depression, but tackles the anxieties and phobias arising from the disorder. Could you possibly be in a darkness so deep that you no longer have the desire to resurface? That you’re afraid of connecting with anyone on any level, afraid that the first step could be the beginning of doom? Tragically, yes.

I suggest that you use your heightened sensitivity to your advantage! The slightest push into recovery is not nothing. If you feel it, let it happen. Take that nudge all the way.

Depression is most acute when it has no obvious cause; treatment may take longer in that case. However, depression can also be a direct if extreme response to some recent devastation. Compared to other forms of treatment, hypnosis works on rewiring your brain to create a completely different – but not unrealistic – way of responding to your experience. Rather than living a prolonged reaction to the pain, you will be able to process your grief maturely and progress.

Depression is a tricky thing, all around. When dealing with tragedy such as a loved one’s death, mourning is necessary. But there is an end to the mourning which sometimes you will have to impose yourself. Give me a call if you think you’ll need help. (212) 599-3195.