Let me first start by saying I’m not anti-lawyer. I have a phenomenal lawyer who I’ve referred to dozens of clients over the years. So, when I talk about the benefits of seeing me for conflict mediation as opposed to a lawyer, it is not to denigrate the legal route in general. Lawyers are necessary, and, like any industry, you need to find the right one to go forward.
A lot of married people who come to me for couple’s therapy are in a very ambiguous position: they are undecided as to whether they should try to fight for the marriage or if it would be more wise to divorce and start to improve their lives separately.
I have no bias towards one solution over the other. You can notice a mediator has a slight tinge of a bias toward maintaining marriage even if the two people in front of them are quite content on separating. As a mediator, I have no bias towards the sanctity of marriage or the adventure of a post-divorce life.
But let’s go back for a second. Notice what I just said. A lot of couples are undecided if they should try to fight for the relationship or not. What does that mean? It means that a lot of people come to me knowing a lot more about what they’re capable of accomplishing than they think.