The NYC dating pool hasn’t changed. It remains as difficult and merciless as ever. Everyone’s ambitious, sophisticated, and interestingly complex. Yet why are so many choice single men and women perplexed over how to begin a romantic relationship, let alone sustain one? What’s the hold up? Why does it appear impossible for desirable men and women to attain romantic fulfillment?

You’d think with the advent of social media and dating websites, we’d all be happily hunting or finding the people we can mesh with. This isn’t the case. Apparently, regardless of how immaculate our images are online or in-person, we still have to deal with the most critical element of successful dating: Confidence.

Let me reiterate that self-perception is a subjective frame of mind, not necessarily based on or reflective of objective reality. If you want to jumpstart your dating life, I suggest shedding all preconceived notions of selfhood that are keeping you back — drop them immediately — and get fixed on your goals. Sounds easy, but it’s hard to practice. That’s when I come in. Think about this: When you go out on a date, what are you looking to get out of it once it’s over? Another date? A one-, two-, or possibly three-night stand? A potential long-term relationship that might lead to marriage? You have to be clear, if only to yourself, about what you want. If what you want is a combination of different things, that’s  a valid goal in itself.

To clarify, a social phobia is not equivalent to a ‘fear of rejection.’ Everyone has a ‘fear of rejection.’ Social phobias go a little further. They are manifest in the mental and physical withdrawal from groups of people, an inability to function or communicate with them; a kind of human interaction impeding emotional well-being, career development and self-actualization.

Clinical Hypnosis works for highly specific, relentless social phobias. Life Coaching involves dialogues between you and me that trains  you how to engage in social interaction that gets you where you need to be. If anxiety, social phobia, depression or any other mental ailment is bringing you down in your love life, give me a call. You only live once — why do it alone? Start sharing your life with people who are right for you.