As a Life Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist for over 35 years, I have worked with a countless number of both male and female patients. One common thing that I have found with many female clients is that many women’s self-esteem is directly influenced by society’s standards and expectations for female beauty.
From Marilyn Monroe, to Kim Kardashian, Twiggy to Kate Moss, Barbie to Beyoncé, each culture has imposed this socially accepted projection of female beauty, criticizing the majority of women who do not fulfill these impossible standards and pressuring them to endure time consuming and sometimes painful grooming rituals in order to come as close to this idealistic mold as possible.
Back in the day, it was all about corsets made of whalebones, foot binding, and lye based hair relaxers that burned the scalp. Today it’s 8 inch high heels, poison based facial injections, plastic surgery, even body binding, spandex based, undergarments intended to suck the body in or pad and enhance certain curves.
Though the trends change, the sentiment that “pain is beauty” still resonates in the mind of every adult female. The pressure to fulfill the impossible expectations of female physical attractiveness, to live up to these standards of beauty, is society’s obsession, and this social obsession has driven many beautiful individuals to developing a multitude of physical and mental disorders.
Anorexia, Bulimia, Depression- all of these conditions manifest themselves as ‘low self esteem’, when in the earliest stages. While being conventionally attractive isn’t a crime, the problem is that somehow society has created a bad habit of linking attractiveness to not only being likeable, but also being completely flawless in every single way. The prettier one is, the more positive attention one gets, and the more attention one is getting, the more probable it is their entire lives are perfect, right? Wrong.
Physical attractiveness has zero correlation to the quality of one’s individual character. Marilyn Monroe was considered the most beautiful woman in her era, but despite her sexy and bubbly public persona, she had multiple failed marriages and struggled with depression and pill addiction that eventually killed her. Contrary to Marilyn, everyone assumed singer Susan Boyle was going to make a fool of herself on Britain’s Got Talent, due to her older age, unique accent, shy demeanor, and unconventional, frumpy physical stature, but ended up leaving audiences misty eyed and speechless as she belted “I Dreamed a Dream”, from Les Miserables, reaffirming that you truly cannot judge a book by it’s cover.
I recently discovered an article about an organization that is proactively challenging the current socially accepted standard of beauty. Pro Infirmis, an organization for the disabled, is currently creating a series of mannequins based on the physical likenesses of those living with physical disabilities. I think this is amazing, as it will inspire and encourage all women to embrace and appreciate the physical attributes which make them unique, finally regarding what they may see as “flaws” as contributing factors to their overall beauty.
For more on Pro Infirmis’ mannequin project, check out this video:
I’ve always been a firm believer in the old sayings- “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and “Pretty is as pretty does”- as long as you strive to be a good person and know what it means to love yourself, then this confidence will radiate outward and your overall attractiveness will eclipse that of an 5’11, 115 lb super model.
Be true to yourself, and trust that you are more then good enough. Perfection is an illusion- there is no such thing. However, if you do find yourself struggling to be comfortable in your own skin, then I will be happy to help you find your inner confidence, projecting your inner beauty outward. So give my office a call and make an appointment today: 212-599-3195.
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