Comment on the Tragedy in Newtown, CT: Grieving and Moving Forward

After the terrible tragedy in Newtown, CT on Friday, December 14th, I don’t write this blog post as a hypnotist but as a father of two girls, both of whom were six years old several years ago.

What happened at the Sandy Hook Elementary School was nothing short of a horror. It is an event that evokes our deepest empathy and soul-searching. Most of us are onlookers to this terrible event, and as onlookers who care about our fellow travelers through this life we try to do our best contribute…to help those who are suffering and to somehow prevent future horrors from occurring.

We can contribute our ideas for policy change. We can contribute more time to our own parenting, and in many other ways as well. I have this “measly” little blog in which I can contribute my own thoughts on how to overcome grief. I’m a professional at helping people, and I’d love to contribute by sharing with you what I’ve learned.

Moving On and Moving Forward

There is a difference between moving on and moving forward. Moving on is a rather cold concept that suggests removing, or even forgetting the past incident that warrants moving on from. For the parents and close relatives of those fallen Angels in Newtown, CT, I don’t suggest they move on; instead I suggest they move forward.

When you lose someone so precious to you it is very hard to think of anything else other than the black hole that has become your heart, but you must continue to live as a dedication to them. Start a scholarship, travel the world, do whatever you need to do to bring color to your loved one’s memory. He or She is not gone, nor are you hopeless, if there is dedication.

We can’t make sense of that tragedy. It goes beyond sense. What about making sense of mental illness that causes tragedy to occur? We can most likely make sense of that…but then what? We end up plaguing the event with more questions. Why is mental illness so destructive? Why does this world or our society allow for child murder? Why my child?

No matter what, grief takes us to the unanswerable. My advice is…don’t let it. Don’t try to make sense of it and drag yourself down that dismal road. Blame it to the Gods, to fate, to psychosis, to coincidence, or what have you. The important thing is that you face your tomorrow with a certainty that is yours and yours alone.

Again, my thoughts are with those affected, both directly and like myself, indirectly. May those little Angels hop from cloud to cloud, forever bathed in warm light.