In the same way that there are two sides to every story, two sides to any coin, there are two sides to stress.

There is the dark side that we are all familiar with: the distressful, painful anxiety that overwhelms us, making us emotionally paralyzed inside and out.

And then there is the bright side: the healthy motivational conviction that pushes us to perform at our best competitive level.

Stress in inevitable because we are all born with emotions and feelings, despite the varying discrepancy between individuals. With proper resources, stress can be used to our advantage. Stress is a natural response to the situations that occur all around us. Controlling the level of stress we choose to put ourselves under depends heavily on our mental habits, our mental view point.

We can look at the cup half full or we can look at the cup half empty.

We have to remember that stress is a byproduct of our pursuing in what we are passionate about. More often than not, we do not “stress” over things that do not matter to us. By viewing stress as an opportunity, we can change the way we live our lives. I’ve come across many people that have had trouble coping with stress and anxiety but in reality, there is nothing more rewarding than helping people find their silver lining.

When people come into my office and say, “Help me find love, Dr. Gluck,” I say, “Not so fast.” I ask them to define the love they need, they find that they can’t, often reminding me that love is undefinable. But that’s part of the problem. How can you expect to get what you can’t even define for yourself? Remember, there are all kinds of love; all kinds of ways to experience and long to experience love. In other words, when I ask for a definition, there’s no wrong answer. Every client, in all the 40 years I have been life-coaching, has benefited from understanding that love is defined through their relationships with another person. From there, I can help you not only envision and describe – with absolute clarity – but find that person to love.

My own definition of love revolves around starting to become emotionally influenced or transformed by another person’s predicament. The recent disaster in Nepal is a great example. Whether or not you know any of the victims, you might still be so moved by the concept in relation to your own security that you want to give whatever you can of yourself to help. Maybe you might have been through a similar disaster, which makes you empathetic in your generosity; though empathetic love can serve as an end in itself. By that, I mean, let’s say, an aspiring musician’s favorite singer dies tragically, leaving the admirer with a sadness as though a close relative had died. The reaction isn’t devalued because the musician never knew the singer personally. In fact, what’s taking place is a sublime if common form of empathy that incites the person to consider self-reflect in the shadow of the loss. Naturally, if you share more qualities than less with another person, the empathy is deeper. Grief is a manifestation of the conflict between wanting to die yourself – to be with the object of empathy – and knowing that self-destruction is not the course you’re truly willing to take, if you’re sane. Depending on how close the person is to you, the chance of killing yourself is low; and the grief is surmountable.

The main idea is: If you’re connecting with someone at a level where you not only empathize but want to understand what the person is dealing with – you want to get together with the person, inside and out, despite what others think; you want to give yourself in some way, even if abstractly, to the person – then you already know what love is. You should pursue that person. Don’t be held down by whether you’re male or female. We all grow up differently. Different from when I started practicing during the late 70’s, an increasing number of men are less likely compelled or obliged to make the first move or turn down women who do. Even if it’s unrequited, go for it.

If you don’t have that feeling with someone, and you’d like to, don’t start with trying to find the feeling; start with trying to find the person who gave you that feeling and might give it to you again and possibly forever. These opportunities don’t only happen once, that’s the good news. Moreover, you might have a few to several people who’ve given you that spark; and it could only be a matter of creating the drive to try them all until you hit the right one. In any event, hypnotherapy combined with life-coaching can teach you how to search and be open to accepting the person you want to love. The capacity for such an accomplishment can be difficult to recognize on one’s own. For further information on how professional guidance via hypnosis works, feel free to give me a call at (212) 599-3195.

Whether you’re a woman entering her thirties, or are further along the timeline, you are set to encounter a host of problems that men may never have to face. The pressure is more intense if you’re making a living in NYC. Being single isn’t sufficient reason for people to go easy on you, either, believe it or not. At times life gets so rough, women experience an early mid-life crises: They suddenly act girlishly or rebelliously, consider “running away from it all” or stop taking care of themselves and abiding by rules that keep them alive and well.

Anxieties in dating, particularly for the purpose of marriage and children, are extraordinarily high once a woman’s twenties are over. Practical life coaching dialogues, intensified by hypnosis, are useful in improving self-confidence during delicate romantic endeavors. Tempting as it might feel, do not, under any circumstances, push yourself to get together with any person you can get for the sake of a sadness that’s only natural and will pass. Being rejected is one of many disasters you’ll be setting yourself up for. Get excited for the chance that romance or passion might blossom on its own for you. If it doesn’t, at least you’ll have set time off to enjoy the day on your own – far better than with someone you aren’t comfortable with.

Later years in a woman’s life tend to be less pressured. Most of the issues are related to physical changes and responding to them. Symptoms of menopause, especially when other remedies prove ineffective (hormone replacement therapy, for instance, or prescription drugs), have been shown to disappear one hundred percent via hypnotherapy. Post-partum depression, along with the disorders that surround and aggravate the illness, can also be relieved through intensive exercises in meditation or “structured attention.” Gaining productive control of your rational faculties during emotionally fraught periods is an invaluable ability.

There’s much more on this topic that I’m sure both men and women are keen to learn. If you’re interested, let’s have a conversation. Don’t hesitate to call my office at (212) 599-3195.