Find A Positive Obsession.

Overthinking always proves to be a nuisance for anyone, regardless of your social status or background. Obsessing over that embarrassing thing you wish you’d never said, or obsessing over that compliment you wish you’d said, or obsessing over your child’s future, or obsessing over that job position or raise you know you deserve to have – in the end we all obsess over the same things in life. Some have the luxury in having these thoughts in passing, only to forget about them when kept busy, while others need professional guidance in order to escape their vicious circular thinking.

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Obsessive thoughts can be the result of a high stress environment, traumatic occurrence or just out of sheer habit developed at a young age. These invading thoughts may be in the form of an idea, an image, or a memory. It has a mind of it’s own in that when you try to suppress them, they push back even harder to occupy the host in its entirety.

If you are dealing with obsessive thoughts and you do not seek real help, you are running the risk of facing a more serious issue further down the line. Living life at the mercy of your obsessive thoughts can cause you to lose your sense of reality, your motivation to move forward, and you risk suffering from a sever lack of focus. Having a thought replayed like a broken record player in your mine so many times will make you question the validity of yourself and your self worth. Your desire to enjoy life will decline and worse case scenario, you will no longer feel the want to continue your life.

Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is a lot easier said than done. It takes time but to every problem, there is a solution. It IS possible to retrain our brains to focus on healthy things above soul-deteriorating thoughts. But first, the first step is to acknowledge your need in wanting for yourself, a peace of mind.

Jealousy, An All Consuming Fire.

People welcome jealousy into their lives, without intending to. They see something they really want and envy that which isn’t theirs. They acknowledge their want of it and, in positive instances, convert it into self-motivation.

tumblr_nqbkpunYAi1u7jt09o1_r1_1280On the other side of the spectrum, some see something they want and experience resentment because it isn’t theirs. Their jealousy never forms into self-motivation. In fact, it becomes an all consuming fire. Their negative thoughts grow fixated on the things they don’t have, magnifying it to something incontrollable and bigger than themselves.

This is so dangerous. It affects relationships, careers, emotional and mental health, and it can really cripple your life.

Jealousy develops when we start comparing ourselves to others. I always tell my clients that we are all on our own journey. We meet people, we invest, we make some U-turns but ultimately, no one else is living the life we individually get in this lifetime. You have to get to a place where separating fact from fantasy is possible, where set goals are met, and where jealousy propels you to be proactive. As I life coach, I am continually engaging in hearing your life story. We all are so special in our own way.

 

Sleep It Off

Ever had someone tell you to “sleep it off”?

If there’s anything I know to have helped enrich my clients lives, it’s two basic needs: water and sleep. Water cleans out your system (another post for another day – I’m always surprised to see how many clients that come in for weight loss don’t drink enough water) and sleep literally is the best medicine both physically and mentally. Don’t wait to treat yourself until after you’ve crashed and burned. What is the point of stitching up a wound when you’ve already been drained of all your blood?

CNN reported back in February that the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) called sleep deprivation a “public health epidemic.”

The article can be found here: http://www.cnn.com/2015/02/18/health/great-sleep-recession/.

The article also suggests how many hours of sleep we should be getting every night:

  • Newborns (0 to 3 months) — 14 to 17 hours per day
  • Infants (4 to 11 months) — 12 to 15 hours per day
  • Toddlers (1 to 2 years old) — 11 to 14 hours per day
  • Preschoolers (3 to 5 years old) — 11 to 14 hours per day
  • School age (6 to 13 years old) — 9 to 11 hours per day
  • Teens (14 to 17 years old) — 8 to 10 hours per day
  • Younger adults (18 to 25 years old) — 7 to 9 hours per day
  • Adults (26 to 64 years old) — 7 to 9 hours per day
  • Older adults (65 and older) — 7 to 8 hours per day


Without your suggest hours of sleep, you are at a risk in a number of ways. Your performance level drops, your ability to concentrate drops and your mood and motives are all swung out of place. Drowsy driving is found to be just as risky as drunk driving. Our brains are wonderful pieces of creation but without sleep, the way we think, the way we see details, the way we retain memories, process information and make decisions ultimately dwindle. To carry such debilitations over a few missed hours of sleep a night is not worth the bigger, long term mistakes headed your way (i.e. an automobile accident, consistently arriving to work late, missing fine details (if you work in finances… this is major), missing a flight, turning small arguments into exploded fights, and the like). We’ve all experienced this at some point so can we agree that emotions are greatly heightened by lack of sleep causing anger, frustration and sadness to get blown out of proportion?

It’s a lot easier said than done because my clients come in for a gamut of issues that prevent them from getting good rest at night (money issues, relationship downfalls, raising troubled kids, losing job opportunities, insomnia, depression, addictions, PTSD, anxiety, sexual issues, fears, night terrors, you name it). Come see me and I will help you get the rest you need. Trust me, things do not seem as bad as they did after a night of quality sleep.

Hap·py /ˈhapē/ Adjective 1. 
Feeling Or Showing Pleasure Or Contentment.

Unhappy people are easy to recognize. They share a common lack of identity, path, and/or aspirations. I’m not talking about “the late bloomer”. We all have that neighbor with a 26-year-old son who’s been trying to “find” himself since graduating college.

Unhappy people are unhappy because they aren’t trying to find themselves. They actually believe it when their mammal brains, the brain we’re born with, tell them that they are meant and designed for unhappiness.

imagesSome people are unhappy because of a bio-chemical imbalance. Somewhere down the line, they’ve compromised themselves, or they’ve entered a structure (relationship, contractual agreement, or professional position) that has forced them to live a life that’s contrary to their inner self. These people could potentially suffer from mild, chronic, or acute unhappiness. Chronic unhappiness potentially directs its host to a life of avoidance by means of addiction while acute unhappiness forces its host into a world of depression.

But, unhappiness is not hopelessness.

Action must be taken to help pinpoint the root of unhappiness in your life. Figuring it out is half the battle. Could it be that you’re still holding on to a past hurt? Failing at the life plan someone else has made for you? or listening to the negativity of your mammal brain? Believing that you can move from where you are to where you want to be is vital. With my help, I can help identify what’s preventing you from moving forward in your rich and meaningful life.

Experience–dependent neuroplasticity, the part of our brain that learns from our experiences, forms our personality when in the beta and gamma state. This means we can also reorganize, and, as a result, change our personalities. So long as what’s being changed is philosophically and truly embraced an entire person can be turned around. The goal is not to get you to be someone else, but to get you to your very unique self.

Self-Medication Turned Self-Mutalation.

Addiction isn’t a pretty word. It’s, unfortunately, so often visually associated with junkies and emotionally tied to rebellion. Compassion is a helping hand never fully extended because, let’s be honest, assumptions keep us hesitant to fully committing ourselves to helping those who can’t help themselves.

In early years of development, our frontal lobes aren’t fully formed. This means all we know is adopted from the environment surrounding us. If those who influence us have unhealthy ways of coping, we might also. tumblr_static_filename_640_v2Addiction, contrary to what is thought, can be a learnt behavior. In a family where words are kept behind glasses of Bourbon, there’s a chance drinking could occupy the space reserved for conversation. Drugs are used for coping with the stress of family, work, identity, and everyday life. Addictions are a physical manifestation of an inner mewing. For many addicts, the use of drugs was a form of self-medication, but mutated into self-mutilation.

Some addictions aren’t even drug based. There can be addictions to sex, love, compulsions, and gossip. Imagine the inability to keep a secret. Addictions are more psychologically than neurologically rooted. Meaning they’re more mind than brain based. Compulsions are usually neurological. I have had tremendous success integrating Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy through neuroplasticity, but it’s important to identify the underlining irritations. So many problems can be solved and resolved with hypnosis.