Find A Positive Obsession.

Overthinking always proves to be a nuisance for anyone, regardless of your social status or background. Obsessing over that embarrassing thing you wish you’d never said, or obsessing over that compliment you wish you’d said, or obsessing over your child’s future, or obsessing over that job position or raise you know you deserve to have – in the end we all obsess over the same things in life. Some have the luxury in having these thoughts in passing, only to forget about them when kept busy, while others need professional guidance in order to escape their vicious circular thinking.

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Obsessive thoughts can be the result of a high stress environment, traumatic occurrence or just out of sheer habit developed at a young age. These invading thoughts may be in the form of an idea, an image, or a memory. It has a mind of it’s own in that when you try to suppress them, they push back even harder to occupy the host in its entirety.

If you are dealing with obsessive thoughts and you do not seek real help, you are running the risk of facing a more serious issue further down the line. Living life at the mercy of your obsessive thoughts can cause you to lose your sense of reality, your motivation to move forward, and you risk suffering from a sever lack of focus. Having a thought replayed like a broken record player in your mine so many times will make you question the validity of yourself and your self worth. Your desire to enjoy life will decline and worse case scenario, you will no longer feel the want to continue your life.

Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones is a lot easier said than done. It takes time but to every problem, there is a solution. It IS possible to retrain our brains to focus on healthy things above soul-deteriorating thoughts. But first, the first step is to acknowledge your need in wanting for yourself, a peace of mind.

Self-Medication Turned Self-Mutalation.

Addiction isn’t a pretty word. It’s, unfortunately, so often visually associated with junkies and emotionally tied to rebellion. Compassion is a helping hand never fully extended because, let’s be honest, assumptions keep us hesitant to fully committing ourselves to helping those who can’t help themselves.

In early years of development, our frontal lobes aren’t fully formed. This means all we know is adopted from the environment surrounding us. If those who influence us have unhealthy ways of coping, we might also. tumblr_static_filename_640_v2Addiction, contrary to what is thought, can be a learnt behavior. In a family where words are kept behind glasses of Bourbon, there’s a chance drinking could occupy the space reserved for conversation. Drugs are used for coping with the stress of family, work, identity, and everyday life. Addictions are a physical manifestation of an inner mewing. For many addicts, the use of drugs was a form of self-medication, but mutated into self-mutilation.

Some addictions aren’t even drug based. There can be addictions to sex, love, compulsions, and gossip. Imagine the inability to keep a secret. Addictions are more psychologically than neurologically rooted. Meaning they’re more mind than brain based. Compulsions are usually neurological. I have had tremendous success integrating Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy through neuroplasticity, but it’s important to identify the underlining irritations. So many problems can be solved and resolved with hypnosis.

Stop Believing What Your Suicidal Thoughts Say About You.

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When I consider the 40,000+ Americans who commit suicide every year I’m truly overwhelmed. I can’t help but to wonder what was and wasn’t said to these 40,000+ lives. I need to know why these these 40,000+ individuals couldn’t see what waited for them just beyond their despondency. I know it’s easy to judge what’s misunderstood. It’s even easier to bypass what isn’t exactly happening to you, but for those suffering from depression, bipolar disorder, past hurts, heartaches, embarrassment and anger, their feelings are very real.

In my 35 years of life coaching I have seen many clients who were, or are, suicidal. I know the look of defeat. I have seen suicidal clients attempt to disguise their symptoms. I have also seen people in total denial of the war waging within them. I’ve been told by many clients that there is an insidious guilt agitating them for not being happier, and a heavy shame for believing they deserve to be happy. I ask whether or not they were ever told that it’s okay to be sad. I tell them it’s fine if the world weighs too heavy on their hearts, it’s common to want to sleep the day away, and it’s acceptable to cry during moments where you need to be strong. There will be days or even weeks full of melancholy. It’s completely normal to have those moments, but you shouldn’t have to stay there long.

A key trigger that I’ve noticed in all suicidal individuals is hopelessness bigger than the size of Manhattan. This despair infiltrates their thinking, speaking, and all around living. In my experience, their hopelessness is a seed of rejection, failure, disappointment, or addiction that was fed by not speaking up, by not telling someone that this seed existed. Some clients have a white knuckle grip on secrets that would kill them if left unspoken. I want to tell you there is absolutely nothing you can say that will make me judge you. Trying to preserve what’s decaying is far worse than allowing it to rot. Sometimes the only way to put ourselves back together is to let ourselves fall apart. That’s when we begin to see where things really belong, and what never belonged at all.

There is power in speaking. Opening up about the things that are tormenting us keeps our demons at bay. It keeps them from spreading lies about who we are and what we’re worth. I’m familiar enough with my clients to identify when something they’re believing about themselves isn’t true. I help navigate them toward their personal truth, and wait patiently for them to see themselves as worthy of love, forgiveness, a second chance, grace, acceptance, kindness, and abundant life.

I got into this kind of work because I knew the quickest way to help people was to change how they think through Clinical Hypnosis. Today I want you to see yourself as worthy of living a complete life, because you are.

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Have You Lost The REAL You?

Society has always had the ability to set trends, but when did we allow someone else’s preference to become our standard?

blog 2We forget that trends and fads are not static; they are in a mystifying, ever changing waltz. This dance is choreographed by lionized opinions from people we may never meet. Fads and trends tell us what to eat, who to date, what to wear, and what is and is not socially acceptable, for the moment. There’s no way to truly “be yourself” if the self you are molding is constantly shaped by the opinions and decisions of others. The problem with living someone else’s version of you is that we are not one size fits all personalities. What works for one person, might not work for another. We set ourselves up for a miserable life when we try to tailor, or hem, who we are so people will like us, society will be pleased with us, the church won’t judge us, and our friends will accept us.

Who are you really?

In my 38 years of life coaching I have seen many fall prey to unattainable ideals. Somewhere I read that it’s impossible to serve two masters because you’ll end up loving one, and hating the other. Who are you loving? Who do you hate when you feel outcasted? If we don’t understand that we are naturally designed to be different, the person we’ll end up hating is the one in the mirror. I want to help refine the authentic you. I want to help people like the parts of themselves that society tells them to hide. I also want to help change what can be fixed, like our attitudes, perception, and habits. There are too many people shaving down the best parts of them to fit a mold that simply does not exist. The standard you choose to live is the one that matters.

With willingness to let go and my careful life coaching, it is very possible to discover the real you.

The Starving Brain

When I think of the 4th of July weekend coming up, I think of hotdogs, burgers, grills, the sun out, frozen fruit drinks and most importantly, some very needed family time.

Needless to say, I know there are people out there that fear this time of year and many other holidays like this centered around family gatherings and food (Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Birthdays, and the like). They fear the idea of having to eat in front of family and friends. There are people tormented by the thought of having to force themselves to eat to appear healthy and normal on the outside.1275fcd73d195d39f36b7135c52f5371

The truth is, anorexia is hardly ever about weight. It doesn’t matter if you’re 80 pounds or 180 pounds, an anorexic will still feel that they are never at their perfect weight. Anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and other related eating disorders are a form of addiction, very similar in root to gambling, alcoholism, drugs, smoking, sex, etc. – it is centered around attaining the ‘high’ that makes you feel good/relieved.

Young girls and boys on the onset of anorexia and bulimia purge because of how amazing it makes them feel afterwards. Fast forward a few years, it turns into a habit, an addiction no longer controllable. The troubling truth about habit is its stronghold over our lives. It’s great that some of us have great habits, like waking up early in the morning and sticking to our awesome workout regimes but there are a lot of us who fight head on with daily negative habits. Sometimes we turn to our addictions to distract us from the real issue we are dealing with on the inside.

Anorexia, like all other addictions, takes your good qualities and uses them against yourself in destructive ways. It will take your amazing persistence and push you to continue to purge and starve. It will take your strong determination and use it to push to to achieve visible ribcages. It will take your unique creativity and use it to create stories to hide the real reason as to why you are “not hungry”. It will take your hardworking, disciplined mindset and use it to fight for the wrong things.

I want to emphasize the power of our brains and what we can do change the way we think. Hypnosis can help you center your thoughts on what is truly important and meaningful in life. You have to realize that your body, your organs, and your actions/habits are all controlled by your brain. Your heart cannot beat and pump blood without the command of the brain. Likewise, your thoughts don’t end up where they do without the command of the brain. Come see me. And I don’t say this lightly. I know how real the fear is for those that battle with this every day, through every meal.

I want to wish everyone a Happy 4th of July!!